Relationships for Intuitive People

Relationships are top of the list when it comes to sources of ongoing emotional and psychological stress for people with chronic fatigue conditions, or other related issues. If you feel that you are walking on eggshells, or that you are constantly tense in particular relationships, then it is probably time to re-evaluate whether they are healthy for you, or if they may be contributing to your ill health.

Often partners are labelled as being the most difficult to deal with, but this is closely followed by stressful family dynamics.  Both can be equally difficult to negotiate due to the complexity of other issues which are closely linked.  Important things like living arrangements, sharing children,  or the potential emotional fallout if things went wrong.  But often people worry about all these potential issues, which may or may not happen.  It's easy to get stuck in a loop of anxiety.  So it's important to bring your mind back to a quiet place, and begin at the first step:  evaluating whether your relationship is supporting your health or contributing to it.  Here's a checklist of signs that your are in a healthy relationship. As you read through the list, make a note for yourself of whether the relationship has these qualities. On a separate list, make a note of things that you would like to be different - it will give you valuable insight into what may need to change in your life.

10 Signs of a Healthy Relationship

  1. Mutual respect: Each of you treats the other with the respect that you would give to someone you looked up to. Regardless of whether you have a difference of opinion.
  2. Open communication: You can talk to each other easily and openly about any subject, without feeling fearful or apprehensive.  You know that you're opinion will be valued.
  3. Responsibility: Each of you is able to take full responsibility for your own thoughts, feelings and actions, and to make changes where desired. There is never any blame directed to the other person for what you are feeling, and vice versa.
  4. Emotionally supportive: Each of you fully supports the other on an emotional level and is able to be fully present if times get tough - no avoidance or excuses why you can't be there for support.
  5. Honesty and trust: You can rely totally on the other person.  You do not doubt their complete honesty, reliability or trustworthiness in all aspects of life.
  6. Individual identity: You are both able to be fully authentic.  To have different ideas, participate in your own pastimes, have your own friends.  To be individuals who also share life, but are not fully dependent, or looking to complete each other.
  7. Sharing values: You both have similar core values about all the important things: life, family, love, work, and relationships.  Where you may differ, you are able to reach a mutually agreeable compromise.
  8. Equality: One of you is not considered to be better or worse than the other.  You can both appreciate the talents, gifts and differences of each other, without feeling superior or inferior.
  9. Safe and secure: You never feel intimidated, threatened, or demeaned by the other person.  They never say that you are too sensitive, or they are just joking to justify their behaviour or comments.
  10. Healthy boundaries: No-one does more than the other to sustain the relationship and to make it work well. You both feel valued and appreciated, able to be an individual, to achieve your goals in life, and do not feel responsible for the emotions or behaviour of the other person.

Still concerned about your relationship?

If you don't have all of these qualities in your relationship, then it is likely to be causing you to feel emotional or psychological stress to some extent.  Become more aware of how this particular relationship is affecting you.  Notice how you feel when you are with this person.  If you feel emotionally drained, stressed, angry or frustrated, don't try and dismiss your feelings, or rationalise them.  You have several options of how to change your situation for the better. Speak to a supportive friend, or get some professional help, so that you can establish what to do next if you feel unsure.